Old Truck

Well...again I am doing a horrible job of updating this blog. I hate when I look at others and they aren't updated...I whine to myself, "Can't you spend a lousy 10 minutes updating your blog?!?" But then I look at mine and realize that I am the worst offender. So to those four of you who actually check up on it, my apologies...Things here in Southwest Oklahoma are pretty darn boring. I did find out that the transmission in my truck is about toast, so I get to part with about a grand getting it replaced...gotta love that. I figured that a car payment would run at least $300 a month, so really a thousand bucks isn't too bad in the big picture. I am allergic to debt of any kind, so if I can't or won't pay cash for a newer car, then I sure am not going to go into debt for one! What got me into trouble was me bragging about my good 'ole reliable truck with 170,000 miles on it to a good friend two days prior to the trouble surfacing. I should know by now that Murphy's Law gets me every time, and I should keep my trap shut! And for those who might be interested, I still don't have ABC and NBC and the May 5th deadline for my waiver request is growing ever so-close. I still have about 80 hours of my favorite shows to catch up on, but not having them available "live" is stressing me out...pretty ridiculous, huh? I also started my next to last class last Friday, so the end is finally in sight...God thank you!!! On the lighter side, the flying bug is biting me pretty hard, so I am thinking of getting myself a plane. They aren't cheap, and they cost good money to keep flying, but I figure you only live once, so why not? If I actually follow through with it, I am sure it'll be about a year before I sink the cash....that's a lot of green to part with, so I'd like to be "sorta-smart" about it...although most people think that kind of expenditure is just stupid...but what are you going to do? Well, that's about it for now...I'll be back...


OKie Weather

OK, I have to complain for a little bit. "What this time?" you ask...I know I seem to complain a lot here...but it's good to vent, right? Well, I am not a big fan of Oklahoma, and that includes the weather. I have never lived anywhere that the weather changes so much, so quickly. It can be 20 degrees Monday night, 85 degrees Monday during the day and back to 10 degrees that night! It is very annoying...Not only to mention when in two days you get the following: Snow, rain, big-ass hail, tornado, sun-shine and then snow again. I had heard that Southwest Oklahoma is the "hellmouth"...I used to laugh, but I think it might be true. I guess I shouldn't complain too much, it was 75 and sunny today, very nice day, and of course I had to work all freakin' day! Not to worry, I am sure it will snow on Saturday...just for me!


Random Easter Thoughts

OK, so I thought that I would update this blog more than once a week! Holy crap....can I procrastinate or what?!? Alright, so it's Easter and time for more reflection. This is my first Easter being alone...no family, no real friends per se, and really, it sucks. I thought about ordering a Honey Baked Ham, but a 10 pound ham would surely go bad...unless I REALLY shared with the dog! So, I guess I will just reminisce about Easter as a child, and as a married man. Adjusting to the single life has been much more difficult than I thought it would be. I assumed that I would really enjoy my independence; drinking from the milk carton, hogging ALL the covers, doing what I want when I want. But, I have to say, I miss her. I miss her a lot. I guess that is to be expected when you have spend 10 years with someone...I guess I didn't realize how much adjustment it would actually take. Wow, how depressing, eh? Oh yeah, Sunday blues again! Alright, so on a positive note, I took had to drop off an airplane in Georgia and got to spend a few hours with the family...that was way cool. My Grandparents are getting up there in the years, so anytime I get to see them is great...I really enjoyed my short visit with them. I am glad that I will be taking vacation in May to see them again. So, I have rambled quite enough, but I have to mention something real quick....This Easter, I hope that the Schiavo and Shindler family will be blessed with peace. All politics aside, I hope that Terri passes soon, and that poor family (all of them, husband and blood...) can move on with their lives. It has been a very sad event to watch day in and day out, and I hope that the end is near....that's all I will ever say about that....Well, 'til next time...Happy Easter!!!


Sunday Blues

So why is that Sundays can be so depressing? Perhaps it could be work...but, I love my job. Maybe the end of the weekend, because I do love the weekend. For me I think it is more along the lines of self-interspection (is that even a word?!?!). I tend to spend a great deal of Sunday afternoons and nights thinking about things I have done with my life. How it could be different, how to find happiness, what to do in the future....OK, now it sure sounds like I am a depressing/depressed kinda guy, but that really isn't the case. A lot has happened in the last few months, so this is the reason for all the deep thought on my part. I think that my involvement with God hasn't been as strong as it should have been, and historically, when I am distant from God, life tends to be more complicated. Coincidental? Hard to say I guess....but I have to put the two together. It seems to be the day of the week when I have the most regrets. I know, I am only 30, so I still have a lot of life to live, but damn, these 30 years have gone by QUICK, and time seems to be accelerating. I sat down to read my high school yearbook (wow, look at that hair...yeah, you don't get to see it, sorry!) and I had written myself a letter about my life and where I thought I might be in 10 years...Well, I will not be making a living as fortune-teller, that's for sure! I could have done things much different, but would I have the insight that I have now? Yeah, a lot of contemplation tonight...so sorry! Sundays are much more difficult now that I don't share them with anyone...Sunday is lonely day, definitely! Oh yeah, and my satellite company took away my Atlanta NBC/ABC so I can't watch Law and Order CI or Crossing Jordon.... the only good thing about Sunday! It's a long story, but I can't get the local channels here because of the type of dish and the apartment complex issue, so I just had Atlanta locals, which was doubly cool 'cause I could keep up the news back home. But now, I only have CBS, which I only watch like 2 shows on...ughhhh! When it rains it pours! OK, so I am whining about my TV, well it's Sunday, so it's multiplied!!! The satellite folks said they are going to ask for a waiver for the Atlanta channels, so hopefully I'll get them back soon...by May they said...at least they are fast, right?!? Well, I have rambled quite enough and I need to finish drying my clothes...another depressing Sunday ritual...so bye :)


Old Friends

So I was reading Stephanie's blog and wound up checking out another blogger... I had never read this particular blogger before, but I will read everyone's at least once. Anyway, she went on to describe a good male friend that she had. I won't get into it, you can read it...but it really moved me to thought about my own life. Not too long after I joined the Air Force, I was going to the shoppette on base to get something. On the way out, a payphone adjoining the building rang..once...twice....three times. No one was answering it. I kept walking, but I thought maybe someone needed help, or was looking for someone, who knows...Anyway, so I answered it. The voice on the other end was of a girl who asked who this was. Garrad I said, and asked if she knew she dialed a payphone. OK, so I could ramble on forever, but the jist is that she had called this phone knowing that it was on the Air Force base and a friend said it was a good way to meet Air Force guys. Well, to her credit, it worked. Very original I have to say. I normally would have hung up and thought her to be crazy, but I was new there and had few friends, and you can never know too few girls...So, over the next few years, our friendship grew, but people never understood why we were just friends...she was cute, we got along great, all the great things you'd want in a girl...but, she was just a friend...my best friend. We shared everything; stories, dinner, movies, emotions, there were no secrets, ever. She would set me up with her friends or coworkers, it wouldn't work and we'd laugh about it later, it was great. While working part time at Chili's, I met a wonderful girl. She was great (for the record, she still is great, just not my wife anymore...). We had a great time together, laughed, cried, it was great and she was "the one"...I was smitten. As we got serious, she expressed concern with my friendship with M (name omitted to protect the innocent, of course!) and her sister M2, which I had grown close too as well. This concern was of serious nature to my soon-to-be wife and she insisted that I sever all ties with my "girl friends". I was very hesitant and wasn't very happy with the choice I had been given. Well, in the name of love, I did what she wanted and told M and M2 what the deal was and of course they were shocked...and hurt. As time went on, I talked to them less and less, and eventually stopped talking to them all together. M got married and had a baby. She would call, send cards, even Christmas gifts. I ignored them. All of them. No thank you cards, no returned calls. I had become that person...I was and am ashamed. As my marriage began to fail, my wife had met a good friend through some of our joint friends, it happened to be a guy. Wow....yeah, I wasn't too happy about that. It wasn't that she had a friend that happened to be a guy, it was that I was expected to shed myself of all ties with girls, but for my wife, the rule didn't apply. I expressed my dismay in counseling, and she conceded that what she had done was wrong. She said I should call her...see how she was....I guess it was OK now, huh? Well, I didn't, I felt like it wasn't in the best interest of our marriage. Well, now we are divorced, and I would do anything to talk, cry and hug my old long lost friend. I wonder how she is, living in Colorado, hopefully happy in life....she deserves it. I cast away the best friend I have ever had... no one I have met since can fill the void she left when I tossed her to the curb. M, if you happen across this, I am sorry....I have always and will always love you...I will never forgive myself for what I did to you...So folks, I don't know if there is a moral to this story, but I felt the need to share, and hacking it out on the keyboard helps with the pain...well, OK, not really.


Evil Dishwasher...

OK, so I live alone in an apartment in the middle-of-nowhere Oklahoma....well, not entirely true, I do have a dog. She's about 11 years old and is a pretty cool dog. Starting about two years ago, she began to exhibit fears of looming thunderstorms. Now, in my family, we have had many-a-dog, and lots of them were afraid of thunderstorms. It was odd though because she would only be afraid of them sporadically. Some storms really scared, other storms, "who gives a crap...gimme a treat!". Well, fast-forward about a year, and she could care less about thunderstorms, but if the power goes out... it's time to freak out! Without fail, every time, the world is going to end! Very strange, I know. This odd behavior has now evolved into a deathly fear of the dishwasher. For 11 years, I have done a pretty good job of keeping my dishes clean via a dishwasher (hand washing is just too much work for a lazy individual like myself!). Never, ever, has my dog given two thoughts about the dishwasher. Well, when I moved into this apartment (which sucks after living in a fairly nice 3 bedroom house with a yard...) whenever I feel the need to eat off of clean dishes, yep, you guessed it, I run the dishwasher...And yes, my dog thinks the world is going to end. I can't get six inches from her without her crawling in my lap in an absolute shivering panic. I feel bad for her, but I like my clean dishes. What is a guy to do??? Wash the dishes by hand (way too much work), eat off of dirty dishes (that borders being too "bachelor like" even for me), Use the dishwasher anyway and hope it doesn't give my dog a coronary (seems cruel, and I'd feel bad for a really, really, severely long time)? I am not sure. Perhaps the econo-pack of 10,000 styrofoam plates from Sam's is the answer... I just don't know....what a debacle (I just love when the press uses that word during the election season). Any suggestions would be fabulous...Yes, I am just as strange as my dog is, so you don't have to ask!


All New

O.K. folks, well after seeing many a blog, I figured I should get in on the action. I figure if I have an opinion, perhaps others might want to hear it as well. I don't have much time on my hands as of yet, but bookmark this spot, beacuse one day it might have something entertaining in it. Or not. I guess that is a risk you will have to take. OK, that's it for now, I'll be back... I hope...